Fragile and Out of Patience

(Day 42 of 112)

Day 42 today. And as patient as I’ve tried to be (and succeeded to a very large extent in being all grown up and mature about it) I’m now missing the Fellow too much to not throw a little tantrum now and then (mainly for the Fellow’s benefit who listens to me distractedly as he goes about his work, knowing that if he didn’t listen to me, I would never stop!)

It’s not fair. I’ve had enough. I’m no longer enjoying sharing news and gossip over the phone. I want to be there to see the Fellow’s reactions to my incessant talking and then smack him when he continues looking all exasperated and indulgent when I don’t even stop to take a breath. Phew.

I’m tired of this long distance thing now. It was very well before we were married. But now it’s just cruel. It’s doesn’t even help to think of it as a game with a prize at the end (a la A Beautiful Life).

All I want to do is sit with the Fellow doing nothing. It’s just very restful when he is there, sharing the same space, a touch away. Even when we’re at our respective computers being neurotic in our own ways (him with his thousand and one anti-virus downloads and me with my Facebook fix and blog), just the knowledge that he is there to is comforting.

Aaaghhh!! I’m losing patience now as quickly as sand in an hour glass. If the grains of sand run out before day 112, I might just have to courier myself to the Fellow. I just hope they mark the box ‘Fragile’.