Yes yes. Another year has come to an end. And it’s now time to pretend that you’re all nostalgic about the last 12 months and how much you’ve learnt from the experiences you’ve had. It’s also time to come up with fraud resolutions that are designed specifically to fool yourself and your pain-in-the-ass conscience.
Resolution #1: I shall try and wake up in time in the mornings so that the maid is not entertained by a half-asleep, messed up hair, terrible pyjamas me (please note the use of the word ‘try’. Indicates realism in expectations from self).
Resolution #2: I shall try and remember that bhujiya cannot be used as a substitute for vegetables and rice and otherwise so called healthy food (this is a tough one since the Marwari in me is already revolting at the very idea).
Resolution #3: I shall finish reading all the new books I bought in the last 2 months before going into a bookstore (unless something absolutely fabulous releases and I so have to have it).
Resolution #4: I will try and be polite to stupid people. I mean they can’t help it right? (I don’t have to be polite once they’re out of earshot do I?)
Resolution #5: I will go to my aunts’ houses for the pleasure of their company and not to demand I be fed all of my favourite foods (unless they call me specifically to eat. That’s a different thing).
Resolution #6: I shall try and learn the names of the flowers growing in my garden and stop referring to them as the purple ones and the red ones and the one with all the leaves (this is to stop getting weird looks from my gardener basically. Judgmental idiot that one is).
Resolution #7: When I take people shopping I shall refrain from spending more money than they do (I mean I live here so I can just go back and buy stuff by myself huh?).
Resolution #8: Attempts shall be made to get un-addicted to Facebook (except how will I have even the semblance of a social life if I did? Hmmm. This one has to be thought through).
Resolution #9: I will stop procrastinating (Hahahahahahahaha)
Resolution #10: I shall blog more regularly (or tweet. Wait. Are those Blog-gods attacking me?)