Monday, March 24, 2008

The Inheritence of Anxities

Meditation training for toddlers.
See anything unnatural about this?
In my mind toddlers are loud, noisy, active, dirty, annoying maybe at times. Never meditating. But then the toddlers in my mind are also not stressed and overworked and suffering from performance anxiety!
Parents keep mouthing off about increasing competition in todays world and staying on top of things as a rationale for involving their children in activities beyond their skill (and in all prbability comprehension). The only thing they should be worrying about is how to get their child to take a nap for more than 15 mins a day!
Instead, children are now worrying about being able to spell Chrysanthemum (even i cant spell it correctly!). They're worrying about keeping their clothes clean while painting. They're worrying about keeping the sides of their mouth clean while eating.
Where did childhood go? When did the carefree and happy existence of being a child transform into as painful a period of development as lets see, adulthood?
A 5 yr old child is already struggling to make sense of where the sun goes at night and why he has to eat green veggies. He doesn't need the added burden of making sure his hands dont get dirty when playing in the sand box!!!
How is this happening? What happened to children doing what children are meant to do - get dirty, wet, be loud, noisy??
Parents happened.
Parents and their desires to breed the perfect child happened.
Parents who forget their own noisy, dirty and fun food filled childhood happened.
If a parent is constanlty fussing about keeping the child's face clean while eating the child is bound to believe that getting dirty is a bad thing. A parent who reserves his hugs and kisses for when the child gets a star on his worksheet is going to believe that only doing the best is what will get him love. A parent who is overly anxious about being the perfect parent is bringing up a child who is anxious about being the perfect child.
Every parent wants to be the best. Every parent wants to give his child everything he could possibly want.
I say give the child love, good food, a warm bath and a glass of milk, a story and a hug. Give the child your genes,your hair, your eyes, smile and sense of humour. But parents please.
Dont give them your anxities. Its bad enough you're living with them.