Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Obligatory Post

Yes yes. Another year has come to an end. And it’s now time to pretend that you’re all nostalgic about the last 12 months and how much you’ve learnt from the experiences you’ve had. It’s also time to come up with fraud resolutions that are designed specifically to fool yourself and your pain-in-the-ass conscience.

Resolution #1: I shall try and wake up in time in the mornings so that the maid is not entertained by a half-asleep, messed up hair, terrible pyjamas me (please note the use of the word ‘try’. Indicates realism in expectations from self).

Resolution #2: I shall try and remember that bhujiya cannot be used as a substitute for vegetables and rice and otherwise so called healthy food (this is a tough one since the Marwari in me is already revolting at the very idea).

Resolution #3: I shall finish reading all the new books I bought in the last 2 months before going into a bookstore (unless something absolutely fabulous releases and I so have to have it).

Resolution #4: I will try and be polite to stupid people. I mean they can’t help it right? (I don’t have to be polite once they’re out of earshot do I?)

Resolution #5: I will go to my aunts’ houses for the pleasure of their company and not to demand I be fed all of my favourite foods (unless they call me specifically to eat. That’s a different thing).

Resolution #6: I shall try and learn the names of the flowers growing in my garden and stop referring to them as the purple ones and the red ones and the one with all the leaves (this is to stop getting weird looks from my gardener basically. Judgmental idiot that one is).

Resolution #7: When I take people shopping I shall refrain from spending more money than they do (I mean I live here so I can just go back and buy stuff by myself huh?).

Resolution #8: Attempts shall be made to get un-addicted to Facebook (except how will I have even the semblance of a social life if I did? Hmmm. This one has to be thought through).

Resolution #9: I will stop procrastinating (Hahahahahahahaha)

Resolution #10: I shall blog more regularly (or tweet. Wait. Are those Blog-gods attacking me?)


Friday, December 18, 2009

Curtains, Clothes, Grass and Guests

These last ten days have been quite busy and between family functions, falling ill and sorting out the household help, I’m going a leetle nuts.

My last update here was whilst I was recovering from a virus attack. Now it’s whilst I go into denial about all the work I need to get done, before friends arrive. Usually I wouldn’t be overly worried. I mean, these are old friends. They already know how messy my room usually is. Unfortunately right after the friends leave, the in-laws arrive. And so everything has to be presentable, and this means curtains (to begin with). It also means bed sheets and pillow cases on the spare bed (instead of piles of washed clothes waiting to be ironed). It could also mean a married people’s kitchen (with veggies and fruits and juice and spices and grown up stuff). However, since we (my friends and i) hardly qualify as grown up, its going to be junk food all the way.

This poses a problem you see, since I’ll have just one day, between the friends and the parents, to grow up, bring vegetables into the house again and clean up all the cola/maaza/beer/vodka bottles.

Then there is the garden. I’m a city girl, so my idea of a front lawn is velvety grass, gorgeous colours and landscaping. What I have instead, is a garden, half of which is green (the other half has no grass on it so its brown). There is also a tree bang in the middle of the yard, bamboo fencing which is in constant threat from the blue bulls around and ugly rose bushes which have only leaves and thorns. Oh, and there is also a gardener whom I’m going to have to yell at (again) tomorrow for work not done (again).

Why does this stress me out? Because the mother-in-law is an expert garden-person. She even knows the names of all the flowers and can make them grow to be the size of footballs. And when she comes visiting, she’ll have to be told that the brown half of the garden is a cricket pitch while the green is to play golf on.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


I just realised that my previous post ended quite abruptly. I blame the medication.

How to Tell if I'm Really Really Sick

1. I readily drink tea - in fact ask for tea several times a day instead of complaining how vile a drink it is.

2. I dont sleep much (as opposed to sleeping a lot when i'm hale and hearty).

3. I stop eating (normal food i.e.) and prefer boiled rice and toast to anything else.

4. I lose interest in Facebook and the Blog (much to the shock of the Fellow).

5. I miss the Fellow even more than usual (no one to press my legs and back).

The last two days have gone by in a haze of high fever and painful cough attacks. I even managed my first fainting spell and have mainly survived on medicines and dry toast. Today, after 48 hours, i'm strong enough to get out of bed and not look like i'm dying (or contract swine flu as was the worry to begin with).
Also, the fact that i'm blogging is a sure shot sign that i'm feeling better - not fine - better. I mean, at least i'm now able to sit up straight long enough to type this out (and not wilt away like a creeper which cant stand up on its own).

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Why I Havent Been Blogging

Travelling across north india.

Moving house.

Stressing about all the mess that had to be organised.

Figuring out maid politics and staying away from it.

Dealing with all the dust and super-sensitive immune system.

Preparing for a family function.

More travelling.

Three days of family, fun and food.

Missing the Fellow.

A whole day of walking around the bazaars of Jaipur, Hawa Mahal and City Palace.

Nodding and smiling at the titular Maharaja of Jaipur.

Gossiping late into the night with the sister and aunt.

Waking up to an aching body, heating up with fever.

Spending an entire day in pain and coughing like im dying.

Missing the Fellow even more - no one to press my aching legs.

Drinking hot water and eating hot halwa courtesy the grandmother.

Thanking the stars that the family is entirely made up of doctors.

Discussing the possibility of infection with Swine Flu.

Thanking the stars that the family is entirely made up of doctors.

Being handed a mask for the safety of everyone else around me.

The dog taking one look at a masked me and whimpering away under the table.

Cancelling travel plans.

Preparing for another 3 days (at least) in pain and away from the Fellow.

Sigh. Can you blame me for not writing?