Aaaaagggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If all that was written about a certain Ms. K and her status as Queen of telly-land and the work she sent out into the universe was collected in one place, it would definitely fill up several high ceilinged rooms in havelis belonging to the age of huge houses and big courtyards with cows in one corner.

But I can’t resist. She makes it impossible to do so. Several minutes watching one of her concoctions is enough to make you barf, look speechlessly at anyone watching the show voluntarily, and hurry to the keyboard to clatter out the several hundreds of thoughts zooming past in your head.

Why was I watching even a few minutes of her shows? Sheer laziness – I didn’t want to get up and move from the comfortable position I was in on the couch, and my maids didn’t think that my presence should deprive them of their daily afternoon quota of glycerine induced tears, evil giant bindi and scary sari wearing vamps, simpering new bahus, manipulative husbands, grandmothers who have drunk from the fountain of eternal youth (or mortality), memory loss, divorce, and doddering old pandits predicting the meeting of rahu and ketu.

It is this last element that gets me huffing and puffing to my computer today.
In the 3 minutes that I paid attention to the simpering falsettos and highly rude language on the screen, I heard a dhoti-clad pandit warning a wife about the eminent danger her husband was in that night and that he would be betrayed by people he trusted and that her presence was the only factor that would protect him and she shouldn’t let him out of her sight. So now our annoying voiced wife decides to pace the palatial house thinking of ways of tying her husband to her pallu. In this she is aided by a woman, who till 2 months back on the show, was in love with the aforementioned husband. Keeping up so far? It gets better. The husband is manipulated by a man he trusts (pandit is proven right!) into leaving his wife’s side. She hears about his going away and goes in “nahiiiiiiin” mode.

At this point, thankfully, Reliance energy came to the rescue with a power cut, and here I am typing this out at full speed with the last few minutes of my battery life in my laptop.