#856857

This is attempt number 856857 at writing a blog post. The number of drafts i have saved could make half a terrible book or a full not so bad one.

Anyway, this time i'm keeping it simple. No rambling or digressing *way* off the point. Okay, maybe a little rambling. Where's the fun otherwise right?

So, i'm having a little love affair with watermelons. Never, in all my life, have i shown so much fondness for this fruit like i am this season. Maybe it's because it really is hot. Or maybe it's because this year, i have a maid. It makes so much of a difference if all i have to do is reach into the fridge and pull out a bowl of chilled watermelon pieces, as opposed to attacking a whole watermelon with a giant-ass knife. Takes the whole summer fun out of don't you think?

There is also a little Pak Choy love in the air. Now I've always loved this chinese green. It was the Fellow i was a little sceptical about. But i guess it was all about finding the right recipe and the right time in which to introduce the taste. That done, i now have a convert on my hands. Yay! But it also means that we're the couple that picks up all the pak choy from the vegetable section in department stores and appears all gleeful about it. Oh well.

Bangalore was visited last week to spend some quality time with the brotherinlaw, his wife and their 4 month old lab, Hobbes. It was a nice little holiday where we had no plans, no list of things to do or see. We could just float around the house in our pyjamas all day, feeding the dog bits of carrot in exchange for tricks. Fun. Apart from the road trip to Pondicherry (which is my next post).

Pune is as hot as it comes. Which is a bit unfair given that north India is having some pleasant weather, totally unexpected for this time of the year. Needless to say, the cooler is my best friend. Yes. Cooler. Not AC. I'm a simple person like that. Also i hate being cooped up in one room all day. It's enough that i have to be alone at home all day. But that's enough of that.

A small medical scare happened last week. But at least i can explain my weight away now. Of course, with the medication, if i'm still fat, it's laziness. And no will power when faced with awesome food.

Saw the Avengers. Loved it. But now don't know whom to have naughty dreams about - Tony Stark or Bruce Banner or Robert Downey Jr. or Mark Raffalo. Seriously. Add to the mix Kunal Nayyar (from TBBT) and David Boreanaz (From Bones) and i'm behaving like a 16 yr old with braces who has absolutely no control on her hormones. Although, i have a theory. Since i didn't have any of these gushy, swooning, sighing feelings when i was actually a 16 yr old, i'm making up for it now.

We leave for Delhi in a couple of days. The Fellow has some work and i'm tagging along. It's been ages since i've been to the capital and now i even have an awesome friend there to hang out with. So looking forward to this next week, yes.

And now that the words are coming again, expect a lot of posts in quick succession. I have to make up for lost time right?

Panic Mode: On

Tomorrow is our first dinner party since we've come to Pune. Some 20 people are expected (not counting children) and in a fit of craziness, i decided to do all the cooking. Needless to say, panic set in long before i started typing this out. In fact, the only reason i'm even writing this is because i can't cook/prep any more tonight. Why? Because my refrigerator has no space left in it to store anything till tomorrow morning. And so i have a few free moments before i force myself to go to bed. 

Anyway, my hands smell of garlic and my clothes are splattered with yummy italian tomato sauce. There is *so* much more to do that one part of me wants to throw my hands up in the air and run around the house screaming. The other (nuts) part of me wants to continue cooking through the night. But then the Indian part of me emerges and i think that if i do all the chopping and prep work tonight, what will my maid do tomorrow morning. What? Don't judge. I'm a very nice employee. She could have been doing all the cooking you know. And i could have spent that time painting my nails and trying on outfits. Ok, yeah. No. I would have just slept with my head under the AC draft till it was time to make small talk.

So. Here we are. The terrace has been washed and made tidy. The room where the children will be contained  given space to play has been dusted and cleaned up - meaning that everything that had to be moved has been dumped in the spare room, which will simply be locked up before the guests arrive.  The added advantage being that we have one room less to clean. The living and dining rooms (or that part of the house which guests will have access to) will be prettied up and dusted in the evening tomorrow. There is also a page long list of things-to-do-before-party-starts that i have, but i shan't bore you with that. Unless my party is a disaster and i have to vent here about all the things i should've done and didn't do. 

In the mean time, i'm off to bed where i shall try desperately hard to sleep and not lie staring at the ceiling, fighting the impulse to count spoons and plates at 3 am. 

Edge of the Cliff

I'm standing here, at the edge of something new and exciting.
It has the power to be life altering. I don't know.

I'm standing here, not alone, yet all by myself.
Sometimes i wonder how i got to this point, this place. This edge.
And then the doubt comes back.
The fear.
But still i stand. Some part of me refuses to back off.
To accept defeat.
All i know is that i'm about to jump.

Ready to soar.
Willing to let the wind take me where it will.
I might fall.
But that only means i'm not strong enough to brave the skies.
And conquer them i will.
Some day.
One day.

Random Notes

Too many things (once more) to write about.

Attended 21 yr old cousin's wedding last week. Needless to say it felt like we were getting a child married off. But she wanted to get married. I envy her lack of ambition sometimes. Makes life so simple if all you want from it is a husband, money, new clothes and parties to attend every week. 

Have realised that marwari wedding songs are super fun. There are songs for every part of the wedding festivities, songs for the bride and groom and songs for their relatives. Add to this traditional rajasthani tunes and awesomeness is guaranteed. Even a week later i find myself humming and singing  these songs.  Who knew i'd like something else that was marwari other than the food! 

Caught up with friends in Jodhpur. Yes. I have friends in Jodhpur. Never did i once think, in all my years of visiting the grandparents and extended family there, that i would, one day, have friends to meet. It was such a new feeling, even after having lived there for 2 years, to hang out with friends in a city i primarily associate with vegetating at the grandmom's house and meeting boring relatives every evening. It was worth it, even if i had to listen to the grandmother grumbling about me never being at home.

I'm a besotted aunt. My 13 month old niece has been going *bua bua bua* ever since i got here. Full heart melt happens. Of course, when she refuses to sleep and bawls her head off, i feel like smacking her. I'm fair like that. Adorable is in it's place but needing an army to feed and entertain her is another. Also the dog is feeling totally ignored and left out because the baby gets all the attention. So i've been sneakily feeding her almonds every couple of hours. 

My immune system is shot. A fortnight back i woke up with a sexy cold voice and a stuffed nose. For 2 days i walked around with a box of tissue papers and ended up with one less layer of skin on my nose. Thankfully my Rudolph impersonation ended before the wedding. Imagine the photos! Unfortunately, a cold wave hit Jaipur and the sexy cold voice was back. But you know how sexiness fades right? Yeah. Now i sound like Lurch from the Adam's family. Not sexy. Also i seem to be setting a record for most snot produced in 3 days. Yes, i said snot. Oh, and every time i blow my nose, the niece giggles. 

All of last week has been about everyone around me asking, no, telling me to have a baby. It's mildly gross and extremely annoying. Gross because your grandmother is telling you to go do it and annoying because it's none of anybody's business really. But all sorts of motivation is being provided. From cute custom baby furniture and clothes/accessories to expensive gifts. I personally believe that since there are to be no more weddings in the family for at least 3 years now, people just need another reason to party. 

Oh, and i think i have a crush on Ram Kapoor. What? 

Questions Normal Girls Ask

Continuing from Mudra's list of questions, here is my own:

Another one for Palladium - Why no ladies restroom on the ground floor? I was directed to the first floor where, as Mudra pointed out, there are 4 cubicles. Maybe south bombay snootiness doesn't permit peeing in a mall and hence you didn't think it necessary to cater for us. But i'm from north bombay. I go when i have to. 

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What the eff is/was Teddy Day? Who the hell comes up with/starts this crap? 

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Older people who insist on being on Facebook and/or Twitter, why do you *all* put up passport photos as display pictures?

Also, girls who talk to their mothers on Facebook, do you have to *heart your mumma* all the time? Alternatively, mothers, do you have to be proud of your baccha on every one of her photos? Even when she's wearing a leather skirt and fishnet stockings in the snow?

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Talking about fashion, all these fancy-pants shoe stores have come to India. But why the hell do they insist on putting 5 inch heels on everything they have? Also why the clunkiness? Or are their shoes only meant for the lollipop figured girl and hence the heavy shoes are required to weigh her down to stop her from tumbling over? 

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Bombay Store. What is with the prices? Also Fab India. Seriously? 

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Is being gay/lesbian/bisexual in fashion? Or was my generation just too busy doing other stuff in college (like studying. So lame, i know), and so didn't get a chance to explore own sexuality?

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Oh, and if every man i meet (in real life or on twitter) complains about simpering, whining, Twilight watching, Edward loving, damsel in perpetual distress type girls, why are all the intelligent, funny, well read, Tolkien reading girls single? 

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Several more questions are in the head but they are mostly those that i've ranted about several times earlier. In brief (and feel free to talk about them on your own blogs or in the comments) here they are:

Why do TV channels insist on showing the new Umrao Jaan with Ms.Plastic Bachchan every second day? Her performance is an insult to the memory of the whole profession really.

Why are doughnuts addictive and fattening? Ok so this is a rhetoric, for the universe really. 

Why the hell won't people stop talking about 21st Dec.2012 in hushed voices? I remember the same excitement about Y2K and look what happened. 

Why won't you leave that Beiber boy alone? All of you sing *baby baby baby oh* when you think no one is listening to you. Mainly because all the malls play that song. 

What is with the mass panic before a dry day? It's not like all of you are swimming in alcohol every non dry day. And if you do, give your liver a break. And if you can't stand the thought of an entire day without alcohol, might i suggest rehab? 

Alone

He was envied by his colleagues and loved by his friends. His presence made any party more fun to be at. His was one of those charming personalities you read about in books and success stories. Wherever he went, he left behind a trail of unbridled laughter and fond memories. Everyone he met believed they held a special place in his life. Over the years he'd become, for a lot of his acquaintance, that one constant in their lives. He was their anchor, their shoulder to cry upon, the one person they knew who could be counted upon. 

And yet, he was alone. Disconnected from everyone around him. Sure, he knew a lot of people. But did anyone know him? Did anyone know who he was behind the smile and the one-liners? His fears and hopes? His frustrations and joys? Where could he turn to for support? Who was his anchor? On difficult days, where it seemed like all he ever did was help others through their problems, the weight of the world would descend on his shoulders and envelope him in a shroud of depression. The feeling of loneliness was never more magnified than at such times. Left alone with his thoughts, he felt he was definitely going crazy. The despair, the feeling of giving up, that gnawing sensation of having no one who cared enough. The morbidity of the situation came upon him like a hailstorm in June, leaving him breathless. No sane person would feel this way surely? 

But maybe it was normal to feel this way. Maybe he had to be insane to not want somebody by his side. to know him, not for his fabulous lifestyle, but for who he was once the parties were over and real life began. Maybe he had to feel this way so that he knew what he was missing. The one thing that would fill that void he'd begun to sense more often than before. The last piece of the jigsaw puzzle. The anchor in his life. The shoulder he needed. 

When You Have Time To Think

And once again i find myself with so many things to write about that i'v ended up writing about nothing.

*So* much has happened in the last week.

The in-laws left after about five weeks with us. It took me four whole days to get used to being alone at home all day again. Also i was convinced for the first two days that my plants were looking sad and droopy, reacting to the absence of the motherinlaw and her green thumb. Turns out, they needed water. I'm kidding. It seems plants do that towards sunset. But i'm still on red alert, given my tendency to kill any plants i take care of. I have bad karma like that it seems. 

The weekend was spent in a manner that i assume is common for couples working in the corporate sector. All of Saturday the fellow was out, all of Sunday, i was. So basically we met on the weekend only for dinner. What i was doing all Sunday is worthy of a whole new post (like most of everything i talk about) but lets just say it involved escorting 800 plus women to the NDA for an all day outing. Yes. That many. Any we ended the day without any fights breaking out or anyone tearing their saree or dupatta. Quite an achievement i say. Oh, and I also won second prize in the lucky dip.  

The week saw us attending two parties (three including the one we have to go to in ten minutes). The first one was a smaller group of people and the happiest thing to happen was realising that an Air India airhostess can be identified from 10 feet  away, in any situation. Also, they really do look grumpy. Really. Oh, and the next party where there is dancing, i'm carrying ear plugs. I still appreciate the auditory sense that i possess. The second party we attended was labelled as a *Musical Evening*. This basically means that anybody in the entire station who thought they possessed an iota of talent could torture the rest of us realistic-about-our-own-talents people. So tortured we were that the Fellow and i decided to go watch TinTin that had been put on for the children's entertainment. But the tandoori chicken was yummy. Also we managed to leave early and did not have to listen to teenagers butchering ABBA for too long.

Grocery shopping happened. Finally. The mall was all decked up in the tricolour and was playing patriotic songs on full volume (on terrible speakers). Although i don't think it was the speakers as much as it was the fact that the cd must have come out of the cover after August 15th and was probably all scratchy. Same thing on TV. Bi-annual outing for most movies playing. And i think Gandhi should be banned from all tv channels. 

Last night another party had to be attended. And the only reason i went to it because i was tired of being alone at home all day. Yes. It's not as fun as i thought it would be when i was a child. This was one of those formal dos that had everyone yawning and looking at the time every three minutes. And yet it went on till nearly midnight. The only consolation was that i was smart enough to carry something warm to wear and could feel all warm and smug while the other women paid for their vanity and shivered through most of the evening. What? I'm evil like that. Maybe that's why my karma is all messed up and i kill plants. Hmm.

At this point, i've taken a look at all that i've written and i think i need to stop. Enough mindless rambling, dear diary type writing has been done. If you're still reading this, don't worry, the pain is almost at an end. Have a good weekend.