Short Cuts

This is attempt number 873 at writing a new post for this space and since i've decided that i'm no longer mentally capable of achieving that task, i'm going to take the easy way out and use the "vishesh tippani" format so loved by Marathi exam paper setters in the Maharashtra state board. *stops for breathe* 

Bal Thackeray died. Bombay froze (literally) of of sheer terror, just like a deer does when facing a predator. It's pure self-preservation. I just wish we had the skills of a skunk and instead of rolling over and playing dead, the city had shot out super stinky stuff at the bad guys. It's been 3 days and the internet  is full of all kinds of analyses and discussions and opinions. I'm not going to add to it. At least not any more.

Pune was also in shut down mode. The only good thing that came of it was that the Fellow got to have a mini adventure when he went shopping for vegetables. Yes he does that. I've trained him well. Anyway.  We had dinner guests and no veggies in the house. So he heads out to the closest market which is literally abandoned. Except for one man who tells the Fellow to follow a kid who will take him to what he wants. Turns out, one guy was selling vegetables. Out of his house. He invited the Fellow in, offered him tea and proceeded to weigh out everything i'd put on the shopping list. And then he told him to take an alternative route out of the place to avoid goons on the lookout for any shady activity. The Fellow came home totally thrilled and with a new story for parties. 

Before the old man died, Diwali came to town. Our first time away from any family which was a bummer. But it forced me to clean up my act and do grown up stuff - like stringing fairy lights all over the house and lighting so many candles the Fellow was sure i was going to burn the place down. In the end, i cooked the food of my childhood Diwali celebrations and to add to the joy, the Fellow enjoyed it. So many days later, and i'm still clearing the house of marigold petals. Fun times. 

A lot of our old friends are going to be in town this December. It's going to be a happy end to an interesting year. With such a nomadic lifestyle, catching up with old friends is a pleasure unmatched. 

Am at the end of my rope when it comes to the Fellow's boss' wife. She's an annoying, loud-mouthed, opinionated, rude woman who thinks she's the boss of all the women she meets. And one of these days i'm going to bitchslap her in full drama mode right in the middle of one of her "i'm so cool" speeches. No really. Just because you drink neat scotch and don't have volume control doesn't mean you're cool.

The Fellow is crazy busy at work. Even as i type this out he's been at work for 12 hours. Which means that i've been alone for those 12 hours with no one to talk to. And for those who know me personally, you know what a huge deal that is. So here i am, super cranky and no one to vent to, knowing very well that if i vent to the Fellow after he comes home following an insane day at home, i'll be the bitch. 

Sigh. 

Someone Give Me a Time Machine

This is an extremely random post. Read only if you have nothing, and i mean absolutely nothing better to do. You have been warned. 

I was in class nine when i first read one of Georgette Heyer's books. And fell in love. 

Today, nearly 15 years later, i'm still in love. 

If there is one thing i really really really want to do, it is to experience first-hand, the regency period in England. Yes, I know that that time period in England was full of sickness and rampant poverty and the peasant class was exploited by the nobility and was illiterate and the weather sucked (which it still does) blah blah. Which is why i'm being very specific about whom i want to go back in time as - the daughter of a super wealthy duke. What? I can be selfish here, since i'm choosing to go back in time  (volunteering really) and all, in an age without the internet and microwave. I need to have the money to be able to really enjoy everything society had to offer then right? What is the point of going back as a maid emptying chamber pots (yeah, no toilets)? Of course, i would be able to have more fun as a man but i don't think i possess the stomach to be in a man's head even for a jaunt across the time-space continuum.  

So yes, i'll be content with living in the Regency period as a woman with a large dowry (quite essential then), bound by a hundred and five rules and crazy tight corsets that might give me lung disease and make me want to run a campaign for women's lib, definitely unheard of in 19th century England.

Yes, i may be sounding crazy right now. And maybe i'm romanticizing things too much. But I think I'd like to sit at a heavy oakwood table and use a genuine quill (none of your ballpoints thank you very much) to pen a letter on heavy, beautiful creamy paper, making sure to write in a tiny hand because paper was an expensive commodity then. And i'd like to wake up each morning to a mug of chocolate because apparently that was all in vogue then. Imagine.  I'd like to dress in gowns made of silk and velvet and real lace. Gowns such that i need a maid to help me dress. And do my hair up in fancy dos (ok i can do that even now, but still). And have all kinds of hats and bonnets. And jewellery that would, today, be called antique and unaffordable. Of course, i'd have to be every bit the lady and not curse (and in that time, even *damn* was an inappropriate word, yes) or sit slouched or show my feet in public (very forward that was, and not at all the done thing for a noble lady). Oh, and i would have to know how to play the piano, speak and read french, italian, do calligraphy, know the use of watercolours and how to dance several dances (none of your random all over the place kind of dancing). I would have to take care not to get freckles and have a healthy rosy look about me, even if it meant rubbing crushed strawberries on my cheeks to make them look rosy! And as an innocent young lady, i would know nothing about the birds and the bees. Expected really, since if you kissed a man you expected him to marry you!

Oh, i would also have to get married before twenty (the only acceptable age to get married) and pop children for the rest of my life but i'm certain i'd decide to come back to the future before that, er, happy occasion occurred. I don't think i'd be able to go long pretending i was a lady, what with my brain threatening to explode at the no cursing rule and the having to have a chaperone all the time. And i'm more than certain i'll start missing pants very soon, not to talk of rajma chawal.

So until such time as a time machine is developed, i'll stay content with day dreaming and sound slightly cuckoo.

Scribbles

24th May 2012: Once more i find myself at that ugly place called writer's block. This time it's the size of and as ugly as a certain industrialist's south Bombay abode. And all i seem to be doing is sit next to it on a small wooden stool, the kind watchmen sit on, and stare up at the cold concrete tower, wallowing in self pity.

30th May 2012: Several hours after i wrote the above, I decided i couldn't sleep and so ventured out for a midnight stroll through the house. No. Not to the kitchen (though anyone who knows me would have to make that assumption), but to get the ebook reader from the living room. Now, for some reason that i forget now, i decided to conduct this *excursion* in pitch darkness, confident as i was in my ability to avoid walking into tables and walls. And i did. I got back to my room safely. Which was when i had a spectacular fall, tripping over the Fellow's suitcase (which, btw, was right in the middle of the doorway). Now you remember i had an expensive gadget in my hand? Yeah. To save that, i sacrificed the right side of my body, landing quite efficiently, on my right palm. Where was the Fellow in all of this you ask? Snuggled under his blanket, snoring lightly. Anyway. I dusted myself off, cursed the man who was oblivious to his wife's predicament and crawled into bed. 

I spent the next 5 days with my right wrist in a bandage. The doctor i visited was mighty amused and a little concerned about my mental state because the last time i went to her was because I'd walked into a rusted metal peacock and needed a tetanus shot. Which, at my age, apparently, is a little weird. I want to know who decides these things. 

2nd June 2012: All day was spent recuperating from a dinner party the day before. I'd spent all day on my feet, first cooking a meal for some 8 people and then playing host. Thankfully we'd I'd make a good decision about the guest list and so not too much effort was spent entertaining them. Alcohol and embarrassing stories were enough. Of course, they also had their children to entertain/distract them as they went about systematically trying to break my new super cool coasters (and all because they had chickens drawn on them. But that's another story). Oh, and in other party related news, i'm now the italian food expert around here. Though credit goes entirely to the friend who very kindly gave me his red sauce  and lasagne recipe, which the Fellow has now requested i make at least once a week. Yes. I have my own Garfield.

5th June 2012: Here i am. Procrastinating. Hoping like hell i can get off that stool sometime soon.  

#856857

This is attempt number 856857 at writing a blog post. The number of drafts i have saved could make half a terrible book or a full not so bad one.

Anyway, this time i'm keeping it simple. No rambling or digressing *way* off the point. Okay, maybe a little rambling. Where's the fun otherwise right?

So, i'm having a little love affair with watermelons. Never, in all my life, have i shown so much fondness for this fruit like i am this season. Maybe it's because it really is hot. Or maybe it's because this year, i have a maid. It makes so much of a difference if all i have to do is reach into the fridge and pull out a bowl of chilled watermelon pieces, as opposed to attacking a whole watermelon with a giant-ass knife. Takes the whole summer fun out of don't you think?

There is also a little Pak Choy love in the air. Now I've always loved this chinese green. It was the Fellow i was a little sceptical about. But i guess it was all about finding the right recipe and the right time in which to introduce the taste. That done, i now have a convert on my hands. Yay! But it also means that we're the couple that picks up all the pak choy from the vegetable section in department stores and appears all gleeful about it. Oh well.

Bangalore was visited last week to spend some quality time with the brotherinlaw, his wife and their 4 month old lab, Hobbes. It was a nice little holiday where we had no plans, no list of things to do or see. We could just float around the house in our pyjamas all day, feeding the dog bits of carrot in exchange for tricks. Fun. Apart from the road trip to Pondicherry (which is my next post).

Pune is as hot as it comes. Which is a bit unfair given that north India is having some pleasant weather, totally unexpected for this time of the year. Needless to say, the cooler is my best friend. Yes. Cooler. Not AC. I'm a simple person like that. Also i hate being cooped up in one room all day. It's enough that i have to be alone at home all day. But that's enough of that.

A small medical scare happened last week. But at least i can explain my weight away now. Of course, with the medication, if i'm still fat, it's laziness. And no will power when faced with awesome food.

Saw the Avengers. Loved it. But now don't know whom to have naughty dreams about - Tony Stark or Bruce Banner or Robert Downey Jr. or Mark Raffalo. Seriously. Add to the mix Kunal Nayyar (from TBBT) and David Boreanaz (From Bones) and i'm behaving like a 16 yr old with braces who has absolutely no control on her hormones. Although, i have a theory. Since i didn't have any of these gushy, swooning, sighing feelings when i was actually a 16 yr old, i'm making up for it now.

We leave for Delhi in a couple of days. The Fellow has some work and i'm tagging along. It's been ages since i've been to the capital and now i even have an awesome friend there to hang out with. So looking forward to this next week, yes.

And now that the words are coming again, expect a lot of posts in quick succession. I have to make up for lost time right?

Edge of the Cliff

I'm standing here, at the edge of something new and exciting.
It has the power to be life altering. I don't know.

I'm standing here, not alone, yet all by myself.
Sometimes i wonder how i got to this point, this place. This edge.
And then the doubt comes back.
The fear.
But still i stand. Some part of me refuses to back off.
To accept defeat.
All i know is that i'm about to jump.

Ready to soar.
Willing to let the wind take me where it will.
I might fall.
But that only means i'm not strong enough to brave the skies.
And conquer them i will.
Some day.
One day.

Random Notes

Too many things (once more) to write about.

Attended 21 yr old cousin's wedding last week. Needless to say it felt like we were getting a child married off. But she wanted to get married. I envy her lack of ambition sometimes. Makes life so simple if all you want from it is a husband, money, new clothes and parties to attend every week. 

Have realised that marwari wedding songs are super fun. There are songs for every part of the wedding festivities, songs for the bride and groom and songs for their relatives. Add to this traditional rajasthani tunes and awesomeness is guaranteed. Even a week later i find myself humming and singing  these songs.  Who knew i'd like something else that was marwari other than the food! 

Caught up with friends in Jodhpur. Yes. I have friends in Jodhpur. Never did i once think, in all my years of visiting the grandparents and extended family there, that i would, one day, have friends to meet. It was such a new feeling, even after having lived there for 2 years, to hang out with friends in a city i primarily associate with vegetating at the grandmom's house and meeting boring relatives every evening. It was worth it, even if i had to listen to the grandmother grumbling about me never being at home.

I'm a besotted aunt. My 13 month old niece has been going *bua bua bua* ever since i got here. Full heart melt happens. Of course, when she refuses to sleep and bawls her head off, i feel like smacking her. I'm fair like that. Adorable is in it's place but needing an army to feed and entertain her is another. Also the dog is feeling totally ignored and left out because the baby gets all the attention. So i've been sneakily feeding her almonds every couple of hours. 

My immune system is shot. A fortnight back i woke up with a sexy cold voice and a stuffed nose. For 2 days i walked around with a box of tissue papers and ended up with one less layer of skin on my nose. Thankfully my Rudolph impersonation ended before the wedding. Imagine the photos! Unfortunately, a cold wave hit Jaipur and the sexy cold voice was back. But you know how sexiness fades right? Yeah. Now i sound like Lurch from the Adam's family. Not sexy. Also i seem to be setting a record for most snot produced in 3 days. Yes, i said snot. Oh, and every time i blow my nose, the niece giggles. 

All of last week has been about everyone around me asking, no, telling me to have a baby. It's mildly gross and extremely annoying. Gross because your grandmother is telling you to go do it and annoying because it's none of anybody's business really. But all sorts of motivation is being provided. From cute custom baby furniture and clothes/accessories to expensive gifts. I personally believe that since there are to be no more weddings in the family for at least 3 years now, people just need another reason to party. 

Oh, and i think i have a crush on Ram Kapoor. What? 

When You Have Time To Think

And once again i find myself with so many things to write about that i'v ended up writing about nothing.

*So* much has happened in the last week.

The in-laws left after about five weeks with us. It took me four whole days to get used to being alone at home all day again. Also i was convinced for the first two days that my plants were looking sad and droopy, reacting to the absence of the motherinlaw and her green thumb. Turns out, they needed water. I'm kidding. It seems plants do that towards sunset. But i'm still on red alert, given my tendency to kill any plants i take care of. I have bad karma like that it seems. 

The weekend was spent in a manner that i assume is common for couples working in the corporate sector. All of Saturday the fellow was out, all of Sunday, i was. So basically we met on the weekend only for dinner. What i was doing all Sunday is worthy of a whole new post (like most of everything i talk about) but lets just say it involved escorting 800 plus women to the NDA for an all day outing. Yes. That many. Any we ended the day without any fights breaking out or anyone tearing their saree or dupatta. Quite an achievement i say. Oh, and I also won second prize in the lucky dip.  

The week saw us attending two parties (three including the one we have to go to in ten minutes). The first one was a smaller group of people and the happiest thing to happen was realising that an Air India airhostess can be identified from 10 feet  away, in any situation. Also, they really do look grumpy. Really. Oh, and the next party where there is dancing, i'm carrying ear plugs. I still appreciate the auditory sense that i possess. The second party we attended was labelled as a *Musical Evening*. This basically means that anybody in the entire station who thought they possessed an iota of talent could torture the rest of us realistic-about-our-own-talents people. So tortured we were that the Fellow and i decided to go watch TinTin that had been put on for the children's entertainment. But the tandoori chicken was yummy. Also we managed to leave early and did not have to listen to teenagers butchering ABBA for too long.

Grocery shopping happened. Finally. The mall was all decked up in the tricolour and was playing patriotic songs on full volume (on terrible speakers). Although i don't think it was the speakers as much as it was the fact that the cd must have come out of the cover after August 15th and was probably all scratchy. Same thing on TV. Bi-annual outing for most movies playing. And i think Gandhi should be banned from all tv channels. 

Last night another party had to be attended. And the only reason i went to it because i was tired of being alone at home all day. Yes. It's not as fun as i thought it would be when i was a child. This was one of those formal dos that had everyone yawning and looking at the time every three minutes. And yet it went on till nearly midnight. The only consolation was that i was smart enough to carry something warm to wear and could feel all warm and smug while the other women paid for their vanity and shivered through most of the evening. What? I'm evil like that. Maybe that's why my karma is all messed up and i kill plants. Hmm.

At this point, i've taken a look at all that i've written and i think i need to stop. Enough mindless rambling, dear diary type writing has been done. If you're still reading this, don't worry, the pain is almost at an end. Have a good weekend. 

Opposites Attract, Yes.

She was from the plains. He was from the mountains.
She was motion sick. He lived life at a minimum of 900km/hr.
She could live on icecream and frozen yoghurt. He didn't understand how.
She liked to be 5 mins early wherever she went. He timed it to the last second.
She was an organised neurotic. He never knew where his things were.
She ate aloo parathas for dinner. He insisted they were breakfast.
She froze at 17 deg C. He laughed at her and turned the fan on.
She listened to Bedardi Raja on loop. He worshiped Bob Dylan.
She had a mild case of road rage. He switched the engine off and waited.
She made friends at the drop of a hat. He took his time.
She didn't understand management and finance. He bought books about them.
She was a stationery whore. He was a slut for gadgets and gizmos.
She could live on sandwiches. He didn't think it counted as proper food.
She wore uncomfortable heels for vanity. He shook his head in disbelief.

Talk about opposites.

PS: this came to me randomly as i enjoyed some strawberry icecream earlier today, even as i shivered in the cold that has descended onto Pune.

For the Attention Deficit

Every day of the last week i've started writing here. And all i have to show for it is a bunch of drafts in various stages of neglect. Yes, i'm easily distracted like that. Also i like to believe i think faster than i can process or type. What? It's possible. It's also possible that i've gotten so used to microblogging (read: tweeting) that it takes more than a little effort to write in longer, more meaningful sentences. 

Anyway. I'm writing now. Not in chronological order: 

The inlaws arrived last week and with them, a cold wave has hit Pune. It's awesome weather now and i got to open the trunk with our woolens even. Of course, the parents can periodically be heard to  complain about the heat and turn the car ac on. But they're from Shimla. They're allowed this. 

I cooked chicken for the first time ever. Lemon Garlic Basil Chicken with bread. I'm guessing it was a success, this experiment, given the way the Fellow didn't stop for a breathe while wolfing the meal down. Yay for me! 

I got pretty pink fairy lights in my balcony. Also I'm having a love affair with fairy lights right now and have a feeling this might turn into a problem soon. 

Finally got around to putting up picture frames all over the house, including a poster of Sholay in the dining area. But several more have to be put up still and photos need to be changed in the existing ones. Sigh. 

Made a vow to always have some fresh flowers in the house. Last week it was yellow carnations. This week it's yellow zerberas. I think i'll make the yellow also a constant. Such a happy colour it is. [While typing this, 2 of the flowers committed suicide by way of their stems bending. So now i have 2 bowls with floating yellow joy]. 

Got my wardrobe all cleaned out and organised. Now i'm a little scared to touch anything in it. No really. 

I fit into my blouses again. I wasn't in June. It's a bloody big deal ok. Now i just need to ensure i keep fitting into them till end February at least. A wedding in the family makes you feel this way, yes. 

Went to awesome stationery store and bought lots of paint supplies. Now if only i could focus on one idea in my head i'll be good to go. 

Got some work done. Now if only others would get their work done too i could die happy.

Spent a lot of time standing around, looking at the plants on my terrace and talking to them under my breath. Also stood around while the motherinlaw re-potted some and generally made her way around them. Why? Because if i touch them they'll die. Really. They always do. 

Have eaten more healthy food in the last week than i have in the month before that. The inlaws are obsessed about food like that. And no. Not fun healthy food. Boring healthy food. Sigh. 

Also have gone to malls more in the last week than i have in the month before that. The inlaws are obsessed about malls like that. 

Signed up for Secret Santa on Twitter and when i learnt whom i was playing Santa to, i quite literally jumped off my chair. And now i'm using up every brain cell i own trying to figure out the perfect gift. Not an easy task. 

Tried making besan laddoos, nani-style. Not bad for a first time. Of course, the grandmother is thrilled to tears. Though, she might be happier if i got pregnant and had a positive answer to her standard question of *any news?*

Oh and i finally went for a walk today. Let's see if i manage to do so tomorrow. 

I think that's all i managed to do last week. I'm hoping for a better next week. 

So Much To Say

You know how too many cooks spoil the broth? Yeah. Too many things to talk about ruin your blog.  I have so much to say and so many things to vent/opine about that i can't decide what to write about and then end up just cussing under my breath and glaring at everyone, whilst playing Bejewelled on my phone. What? It's addictive. And really brainless. 

So let's get chronological. 

Holiday

Week-long holiday happened in Singapore with the Fellow. Stayed with the sister and brotherinlaw and fed them aloo parathas. Yes, i did the whole big sister thing. I'm nice like that. Also, brought in the 28th birthday there, spending the entire day at Universal Studios, screaming my way through roller-coasters (which i was dragged onto by the unfeeling husband and unconcerned sister). But i got some brilliant strawberry pannacotta for lunch, so yay! Apart from that, lots of walking around Singapore happened - allowing me guilt-free hogging at every meal (a good thing considering how awesome the food was). Shopping happened too - bulk of it at Ikea (duh) and we were probably the only people to enter Mustafa and not walk out with a TV. No really. 2 golf sets, yes. But no TV. 

All in all, a good vacation. I would put up photos, but those have been jinxed. Ever since we've come back, the computer has been giving up on me, resulting in a motherboard and a harddisk replacement. Thankfully, in an act of supreme inefficiency, i didn't delete the photos from the camera after transfer and so i'm not too worried about losing them. 

Good News (the really good types)

So, the last few months of my life had been totally preoccupied with the one question that plagues a fauji wife - Where are we moving to next. Yes. Even though we'd been in Pune only a few months, another move was on the horizon. Unfair? Tell me about it. Anyhoo. To cut a long story short, after months of stress, uncertainty and new ulcers, just as we returned home from Singapore, we were informed that we get to stay in Pune. Yipeeeee! The perfect ending to a fantastic holiday the Fellow says. 

Caterpillar 

The Fellow found a fat caterpillar on the ground and i brought it home. Why? Because it was the kind that would become a butterfly some day. I put it in a jar and made holes for air. I also put leaves in it and checked up on it every 15 mins to check whether it was alive. It was. And totally hyperactive. Or it was just looking for an escape route. Why do i say that? Because 2 days later, the Fellow found it in the computer room, a whole house away from where i'd left the jar in the kitchen. Here's what i think happened - the jar was on the window sill and the lid (kept loosely on) blew off in the strong winds that were happening. And the wiley caterpillar ran for it. Sadly, his sad story touched something in the Fellow's heart and he decided to let it go in the wilderness that is our neighbour's garden. Sigh. The End.

Bombay

Since i'm trying to become a *young entrepreneur*, trips to Bombay have to be oft made. Not that i'm complaining. But what was to be a couple of days has become a week and a half. Thankfully, this time round, i got work done. Also suleimani chai happened at Prithvi with two boys and a girl (and a really photogenic old man with a flute). Movie also happened with a friend i've known since we were 12 and i think he called me stubborn and impossible more than once during the evening. We also got wet in the unannounced and torrential rain that happened in Bombay on Wednesday evening. Haan, and the sister arrived on her way to Jaipur for her first karva chauth, but that's another story all together. 

Moving Houses

I'm writing about this primarily because i'm not doing it. Heeheehee. Yes ladies and gentlemen. The Fellow, in an act worthy of Superman, has shifted houses in 3 hours, trunks and potted plants included. All i have to do now is locate my stuff under all the mess that is bound to be the new place (you think he'll take the hint  and clean up? Or too much to ask?) Anyway. Whatever it might be, i was spared the supreme torture of moving and i'll be eternally (read: a couple of days) grateful to him for that. 

Shimla

Next week we leave for Shimla where home and the inlaws (mine) await us. We haven't been there in the longest time and i'm totally looking forward to piping hot tomato soup and fresh french fries on Mall road. What? So i like food. Not like the Fellow isnt waiting to get his teeth into his favourite momos and chocolate pastries there. So, family time awaits us, and like i promised a pint sized genius yesterday, i'm going to try blog more while there, so maybe some productivity shall happen too. 

Phew. That was a long and totally random post. If you're reading this, remind me to send you a thank you note :) 

2.30 am Postings

It was a turbulent time. Tears, arguments and ultimatums. Uncertainty and conflict. The constant physical pain, the guilt, the choices. He was her support system through it all. The shoulder on which she cried. The number she called for the 3 am panic attacks. He made it all go away, seem like it was all in control. He made it all worth it. She was in it for life. He was in it for her.

Just One of Those Posts

I've been wanting to write for a few days now. I even have half a dozen incomplete rants sitting on the desktop. But there is *so* much going on in the head that it's getting a little difficult to untangle the threads and get past the knots. Every time i start writing i find myself going off on a tangent, a stray thought, a random idea. And then i'm just putting disjointed, unconnected sentences together in one space and hoping at least someone of them make sense. Unfortunately they don't. At least not to anyone who hasn't been inside my head and knows how to connect the dots - including even me most times. An out of body experience it is, with me hovering somewhere near the ceiling with a cold iced tea in my hands thinking that my drink needs more mint and less sugar. And then i'm left wondering what's wrong. Or right.

Go on. Join the dots.

That Bubble

I'm in one those moods today where i can feel the energy bubbling inside of me. And no. I don't want to go for a run. That's not how i deal with my excess energy you know (maybe i should though. At least it would help me solve my weight issues). Anyhoo. What i really want to do right now is draw. Sketch. Doodle. Create. I want to draw the images forming in my head, even though I'm certain something will be lost in translation and it won't look anything i'd envisioned. I want to spend hours with some heavy drawing paper and a black ink pen, watching in satisfaction at the thick and thin lines come together to form a whole. I want to do so much, the ideas in my head are threatening to explode and it's leaving me restless and feeling incomplete.

And what feels worse than that is knowing that if i don't do something about this, and soon, the bubble will burst. Into nothingness. And i'll be left with nothing but this blogpost to show for it.

The Photo

Sipping on her drink, she observed the scene around with interest - especially the mop of hair in the red tee shirt. Even in that crowd, he stood out. Maybe it was the way he sat, feet propped up in the chair in front of him, or maybe it was the fact that he seemed to be the only one not trying hard to impress the girl he was with. Then again, maybe it was his hands, the only bit of him in motion, drumming restlessly on the table in front of him.

And even as she thought it, he leaned forward to pick his phone up. Elbows resting on the table, his hands cradled the phone, surprisingly graceful. And just like that, the restlessness seemed to evaporate. His fingers, as if used to the motion, expressed a purpose, quietly confident. And then he smiled

She quietly reached for her camera. After all, she did have a thing for hands.

Smoke

I don’t have anything against smokers. It’s the smoke I don’t like. Especially the kind that I’m forced to breathe in. Of course the solution to that is to a) be polite and tell the smoker next to me to stuff it or b) make an obvious and pointed exit. And at times when the room resembles a gas chamber more than anything else, walking in and walking out is the only way to go.

And this is exactly what I found myself doing last night. Apparently there was an impromptu song and shayari session in the bar and those of us who weren’t already audience to it headed there. I had taken maybe 2 steps into the bar when I realised I’d probably die of smoke inhalation in the next 5 minutes, and since I hadn’t written my will or called everyone I know to let them know what I thought of them, I decided to step out. Here I was joined by the Fellow (also a non-smoker who likes the full use of his lungs) and another officer (whom I keep supplied with chocolates and who thus felt chocolate-bound to keep me company). While we discussed the habits of smokers and then moved onto talking about drugs, their use and of course, availability, another officer walked out of the bar. On being asked where he was headed to, he indicated with that typical hand gesture that he was off for a smoke.

“Uhh….why don’t you stay in the bar and just take deep breaths? That would save you a cigarette at least.”

“I would, but the smoke is not the right brand.”

That’s the fauj for you.

Excuses

It’s been too long. And I can only plead laziness. Of course a lot of stuff has been happening since I wrote my last post, but that’s no excuse is it? Or is it?

Since I was in Bombay last, the sister has gotten engaged (in the big fat Marwari way), a first cousin also got engaged a week later, I returned home after a near two month long vacation (not a happy feeling at so many levels), my garden has turned green from brown and is now full of flowers and butterflies, the weather has dropped from the high forties to the mid-thirties, making life so much better and I’ve attended at least two parties a week since I’ve been back. Then there was my decision to make (and not buy) rakhis for my brothers this year and so a lot of my time was spent in paper quilling and being all excited about the pretty results. I’m also making lots of rum-raisin chocolates for the neighbours (much to the annoyance of the Fellow who doesn’t get to eat any) almost every week. There is also the lending of time to the aunts who live here and help them with their various independent ventures and stuff (basically giving them motivational speeches and showing how to give a good sales pitch to customers). Oh, and I’ve also been hit by the photography bug and am now the neighbourhood nut who can be found stalking the butterflies in her garden at all times of the day (to be fair, I’ve also stalked some of the kids and now have some pretty good portrait and action shots).

And if I don’t stop now, I’m sure my list of excuses will require a blog of its own and then I will have two blogs which I don’t update regularly.

Death Two Ways

Some friends are on vacation and have left me (and the Fellow) in charge of their pet fish. I was supposed to go to their house everyday and drop a palm-full of fish food into the tank. Of course I did it. And made the Fellow do it too. In fact we ended up taking turns in feeding the fish, with me praying each day we didn’t find them dead and floating (I mean, I loved Finding Nemo and it would just be too traumatic to flush the little thing (s) away).

And then I had to travel for work (sounds so important when I say it like this no?). Yesterday, while I was chatting with a cousin (yes, work takes me around family. Fun) I suddenly remembered the fish. I called the Fellow immediately, who, as it turns out had just remembered them too! After telling him where the house keys where (men I tell you!) I turned back to the cousin. “Feeding fish didi?” she asked. “Yes” I replied. “Online?” she returned?

I knew then, that something in all of us (or at least my cousin) has had to have died, when feeding fish reminds you of online pets. I mean seriously? With all the Farmville and Fishville going around, whatever happened to the real thing?

Well, 5 minutes later I knew. The real thing had died. Well, 3 of them at least. Apparently the oxygen pump stopped working and 3 fish floated up before rescue in the form of the Fellow arrived on the scene.

Scoop. Drop. Flush. Sigh.

Contented Sigh

(Day 99 of 112)

I’m feeling quite content today.

I finally managed to focus enough to get some work done today, and after several days of procrastination, it sure feels good to have been productive.

I also ticked several items off my to-do list and since I’m neurotic about organisation and love making lists, I now get to make a new one. Yay.

Additionally, I actually moved ahead with my whole sending Diwali cards to people I like plan, and so now it’s not just an idea in my head any more (Note to self: blog about Diwali card sending plans for this year).

Next, I spent the whole evening with friends and caught up on a whole lot of local gossip. Not only did this make me feel all happy (in the way spending time with friends makes you), it also made me glad that I’ve been travelling for almost three and a half months now and thus escaped the things being described to me by some very fed up people.

Finally, the Fellow is in a good mood today and hasn’t once complained about the torture he’s under. Reason enough to feel contented isn’t it?

Ps: This is a post PK. And under 11 minutes.

Recovering

(Day 93 of 112)

Have been travelling for a few days now. The body (and mind) has to now recover from

-the constant movement the body has been subjected to

-the lack of plug points into which to hook my computer

-the phone running out of battery and thus unfinished quota of talking with the Fellow

-the shock of finding myself in the middle of the desert after a month in the shade of the Himalayas.

Will see you on the other side of my nap. Cheers

90 Not Out

(Day 90 of 112)

It’s been 90 days today and I’m still mentally all here! Yay. Of course I’ve had my moments of doubt and extreme frustration, coupled with random insane ramblings. But since these have been shared only with the Fellow (and some of it with readers of this blog), I’m quite happy. After all, even I’m allowed a moment (or two) of less than total self-control right?

So now there are only 22 days left. It’s been a long haul and the finish line is in view. Like I keep telling the Fellow (every time he complains of the tortures he’s going through), that this bit is going to be the toughest – just like that last stretch in a marathon when the runner is exhausted, deprived of oxygen and who’s legs refuse to move another step.

I just wish that I could explain this to myself as well as I do it the Fellow. It would make these last few weeks so much easier to get through. And then again, I have my blog so that’s a good thing right?