Of Court Verdicts and Personal Guilt

(Day 92 of 112)

The Allahabad HC has acquitted Moninder Singh Pandher in the Nithari murder case while upholding Surinder Kohli’s death sentence. Needless to say, there is massive hue and cry about this verdict and nobody seems to be convinced that Pandher is innocent. However as it often goes in this country, this too shall be forgotten and since the media has the attention span of a toddler, something else will grab their (dubious) attention.

Meanwhile, families of the victims will continue seeking answers and maybe one day, justice. The one whose death sentence has been upheld will try looking for mercy, and the acquitted will try and remain free – in more ways than one.

For even though he may have escaped (so far) incarceration and capital punishment, where is he to run from the truth? And while I can’t pass judgement on Pandher and his alleged innocence, I can have an opinion.

And I believe that no matter what any court says, human guilt is punishment enough. Yes I know that sociopaths and psychopaths are not overly burdened with a conscience and the accompanying guilt. But I also believe that no matter where you hide, you can’t hide from yourself. Where are you to run from the memories, the voices, the faces, the dreams? You may convince yourself of an alternative truth and even repress memories. But it’s not as easy as Freud made it sound. Reality traps you and never really allows you to be free.

So whether Pandher took a life himself or stood by and watched, he knows what really happened. And he has to live with this knowledge, no matter what a court of law decides.

Of Political Expulsions and Book

(Day 75 of 112)

So the last several days have all been about Jaswant Singh, his book and the BJP. To put it in a nutshell, Singh wrote a book, the BJP over-reacted and Singh got humiliated with a no-warning expulsion from a party he’s been with for 30 years.

However with the BJP’s knee-jerk reaction being discussed everywhere and on every news channel, two things were certain – those who hadn’t heard of the book before did so now, and those who would have not read the book or left it for a couple of years later, made a beeline for the bookstore, just to see what all the hype is about.

I mean like Singh said, it’s just a book. It’s a personal opinion expressed in a democratic country. So what’s the big deal? The answer, I know, lies in politics. But I have a minimal understanding of politics and am not ashamed to say so (yay for me). Thus all the political jargon being thrown around on national television bores me (seriously) and also serves to simply confuse me further. Thus the only way I can make sense of this whole issue (and pass judgment on all the hype) is by reading the book in question.

And this is just what I’m going to do. At present I’m simply enjoying the smell and sight of a new book and fresh, crisp, untouched and unread pages. The reading shall commence soon.

Look out for some opinionated gyan soon.

Catching Up

(Day 21 of 112)

India has finally caught up with the world (at least most of it). With Section 377 not applicable anymore, legally we are no more a homophobic country.

The keyword here is legally. As happy as I am for the gay and lesbian community and the legal recognition they get now (important for co-habitation, managing finances, building families etc), I wonder whether it is as important as social acceptance or even tolerance for that matter.

No matter what the law says, we have already proven that as a people, we consider ourselves above the law, be it wearing a helmet on a two wheeler or beating up youngsters in a public place (and being proud of it). So even without section 377 enabling law-enforcers anymore, I wonder if things are going to improve for this fast growing community of men and women looking to express who they really are.

A law might have changed. But that’s only on paper. It can’t change attitudes and opinions. It can’t change prejudices and stereotypes. It can’t change us into a more accommodating and broad-minded society.

And so, all I have to say, or rather hope, is that this giant step taken up the Indian legal system proves to be a small step towards changing outlooks and beliefs.

Biodegradable?

(Day 15 of 112)

The World Wide Web is quite literally exploding with MJ-love. Everyone everywhere (including me) is writing eulogies and bidding farewell to the King of Pop.

Since my moment of mush has passed earlier and I’ve written about Michael Jackson the legend, it brings to mind the more obvious – Michael Jackson the disturbed.

On being told first thing in the morning that Michael Jackson had died, my immediate reaction was “what did he OD on?” And my instincts weren’t wrong. His family has submitted the body for an autopsy and it is suspected he ODed on painkillers.

While his music is unforgettable, Michael Jackson, superstar, started making headlines for something more than his music. He became infamous for his appearance (which changed him from black to white, human nosed to something definitely bestial), his marriage, his dangling children off balconies and lately his dubious activities with children. As the number of controversies grew, so did his music stop. No one had heard a song from the King of Pop in several years.

And so, having a discussion about MJ’s death with my sister and cousins, and agreeing that he was and will always be a legend, the topic was closed once and for all with the question, “after all his surgeries and face transformations, will he decompose?”

Eh.

MJ

(Day 14/15 of 112)

From blog posts and tweets to Facebook status messages, everyone around the world is expressing their shock, grief, and above all love for one person. The King of Pop. The one person who’s music still remained more popular than all his controversial behaviour and legal troubles. He who was born black and died white.

Michael Jackson.

In death he unites the world.

In death he is a legend.

You Are My Candy Girl

My earliest memories of Archie comics are my mum reading them. My first contact with the gang was when I was about 6 yrs of age and my mum asked me to find the book she was reading. It’s called Archie she said. Huh? A-R-C-H-I-E.

I found it for her. Testimony that I could identify letters of the alphabet and knew what a comic book looked like.

Thus began my journey with the teenaged gang from Riverdale complete with the blonde, the money, the vain, the foodie, the jock, the nerd, the gangly, the artist and of course the all-American boy next door, Archie.

Archie and the gang brought America into our lives. They were our first introduction to hamburgers and sodas, detentions and dates, proms and tuxedos. Riverdale was meant to be representative of the ideal America of the 60’s and 70’s complete with fashions from those days (and prices). Every issue had us reading about Archie juggling his two lady loves, Jughead angling for another meal (Big Ethel angling for Jughead), Reggie preening, Betty pining, Veronica flouncing, Dilton computing, Moose flexing and Midge controlling (and of course the near human Hotdog).

This was a regular group of teenagers struggling with homework, pocket money and love. And who better than Archie to epitomise this struggle?

From the very first issue Archie has been caught between Betty and Veronica. Betty, the perfect teenage girl who can do no wrong, who worships the ground Archie walks on and knits sweaters for him, and Veronica the rich brat whom Archie worships and saves all his money to buy sweaters for. It’s a love triangle that’s been playing for decades now.

Not anymore. Archie is finally going to end the struggle and make his mind up. The 600^th issue of Archie and the gang has the teenagers all grown up and thinking of marriage, and the big question now is whom will Archie choose?

Will it be the good girl Betty who will probably be another Stepford wife and have his house always smelling of freshly baked cookies and have everything in place right from the laundry to the flower vases? Or will it be Veronica who will probably make Archie sleep on the couch every other day and with whom Archie will never have a dull day?

All over the internet people are rooting for the firebrand brunette. Apparently no one likes a goody-two-shoes.

But the best insight was from someone who thought the perfect ending would be Archie choosing to spend the rest of his life with best bud and self-proclaimed woman hater Jughead. With the world opening up to same-sex marriages, maybe it’s time Riverdale got with it too huh?

Now that’s an idea isn’t it? 

Vicarious Pride

The blogosphere is full of Slumdog Millionaire. I'm going to add my bit to it too because it just has to be said (at least i believe so). 

I'm happy for Danny Boyle and all the cast and crew of the movie. But what i fail to understand is why the Indian film industry is going around all smug and self-congratulatory?? I mean the movie is Brit. Almost all its technicians are Brit. Ok so the music, the concept and a lot of the actors were Indian, but the music was given by a recognised genius who has already done a lot of international work, the concept was in a book by an Indian author (which no one knew of till the movie was released) and the actors are frankly not your superstars who get the juciest ad campaigns or get ego-massaging awards and adulations from the industry. In fact some of them are those whom our stars would have shooed away from their cars or maybe dropped a coin for. 

This credit taking for anything remotely Indian is an old habit in this country. Everytime anyone remotely connected to India achieves something big, our countrymen (and politicians) start doing the victory dance. People, get it clear - Indian origin does not make the person Indian. His ancestory just happens to lead back to India. So stop revelling in vicarioius pride and try and get the real Indians to do something big, or even better, do the victory dance for what they do actually achieve (and not give your highest awards to plastic dolls while ignoring your champions).

But i digress. Agreed that it was a Cinderalla story for SM all through and that it has proven a life altering step for most of its actors. But Indians bursting crackers and celebrating the Oscar sweep is like the Chinese taking credit for Kung-fu Panda. 

Of Chaddis and Bad Men

For some time now i've been thinking i should get some Pink Chaddi love on my blog just to show solidarity in the face of supremely chauvanistic, regressive, insecure and frankly, just plain moronic men. 

I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's day. My earlier post is testimony to that. But this year, like many other non-fans, i'll be looking forward to the 14th. Not to join in the hearts and lace and ugly soft toys parade, but to see how events develop and see what the government is going to do while a glorified goon decides to define Indian culture. 

Speaking of the nationwide movement of Pink Chaddis, Muthalik has said,  

"the move reflected the desperate mindset of these women." 

Right. We are the ones who are desperate. 

He also goes onto say (unfortunately)

"Instead of talking at such base levels on the issue of Indian culture that I have raised, it will be better to debate it at the ideological level. I am prepared for that. Let there be a discussion on it across the table,"

Hmm. I'm guessing he ran out of tables when he decided to attack youngsters at the pub earlier this month. 

The Great Divide

Now that the terrorists are dealt with, it's time for the usual routine of expert panels, protest marches, candle lighting, political faffing, monetary compensations, zero sensitivity, big words and little action.

Of course there is one important difference here. The anger, outrage, feeling of terror and utter disbelief and shock is simply due to the fact that even the rich are vulnerable. Had 2 smaller and little known hotels in a northern suburb of Mumbai been attacked, not one candle holding protester would be found on the streets.

Yes i agree that the hotels the terrorists chose were iconic in nature, and ensured international attention. But the aftermath is only emphasising the underlying discrimination and the great divide that exists in our city. All peace walks and protest marches lead to the Taj. Everyone talks about how innocent people were killed in the hotels when all they had come for was an evening out. Everyone is shocked at how easily 2 top hotels were attacked.

But what about CST? Isnt the erstwhile Victoria Terminus an equally important landmark (and a place that definitely sees more people passing by than the hotels)? What about those innocent citizens who were at CST? What about those who were simply looking to go back home after a long day at work or return to their village after a holiday in Bombay? What about those women and men who were caught in open fire with nowhere to run or hide? What about the man in the control tower, who, on seeing the gunmen, made announcements for people to get away to another platform, thereby saving their lives? Why is no one saluting his alertness and quick thinking? Why isnt he being interviewed for what happened? Why is no one talking about the people who were killed as part of what was probably a diversionary tactic?

So while i empathise and am equally outraged at what my city is going through, im also saddened by the inequality that the common man faces even in death.

Until Now

Living in Mumbai has never been simple. Terrorist threats, riots, attacks on shops, taxis and offices, disrupted train servies, we live with all of this on a daily basis. Mumbaikars have learnt to take it all in their stride and move on with life. This indomitable spirit is what has made the city what it is. Bombs have not reduced the crowds in local trains, they have not stopped people from flocking to market places and they have definitely not made anyone stay cooped inside their houses.

Until now.

Until now Mumbai has never been faced with an act of terrorism that did not stop with one or several blasts.

Until now we have never had to face indiscriminate firing at railway stations, cafes and hotels.

Until now we thought only local trains and market places could be targeted. We were wrong.

Until now only the middle class was affected. The balance has changed and now the rich are hostage.

Until now we never heard of several top cops being shot dead a couple of hours into the attack.

Until now the terrorists never came foward in such large numbers together.

Until now terrorism in India never grabbed international attention of this magnitude.

Until now we never had a situation which lasted nearly 18 hours.

Until now Mumbai had never had the army step in.

Until now we have never felt the panic and fear we are now.

Unfortunately, until now no one took terrorism in this city seriously. It was just another of those things you get innured too. But now someone has to be accountable for the supreme lack of respect for human life and the blatant spread of terror. Someone has to have the answers.

Until now the common man accepted the apathy of the government towards their plight. But not anymore. Now we demand action.

Until now we demanded a solution.

Now we demand justice.

From a Hand Shake to a Hug

With this post, I add to the already massive amounts of opinions on the internet about a certain meeting between a Head of State and, well, Sarah Palin.

The President of Pakistan has definitely made the world media sit up and take notice of him (and not in connection with bombings, murders, terrorism and India). His now (in)famous meeting with Sarah Palin not only caught the fancy of journalists and bloggers all around the globe, it also instigated local religious leaders to the extent that they have issued a ‘fatwa’ against their Head of State.

Apparently his remarks were unworthy of someone in his position (if you’re heading a country you can’t appreciate gorgeousness?) and non-permissible by Islam (huh?). Adding fuel to the fire is the fact that he happened to find a non-Islamic woman gorgeous. I repeat myself, huh?

So Zardari called Sarah Palin gorgeous. What else was he to do, compliment her intelligence? In saying he now understood why all of America was crazy about her he was probably paraphrasing from why all of America thought she was crazy. And in suggesting that if he was instructed to do so he might hug her, Zardari was probably just trying to pave a way for better US-Pak relations (along with providing the world with a juicy sound-byte guaranteed immediate attention).

So instead of issuing a fatwa against Zardari for his words he should probably be appreciated for his honesty and courage in taking the bull by it’s horn, or in this case, Palin by her hand!

Which City This Time?

After the Delhi bombings the one thing that comes to surface is that more than the bombs killing people, it is the apathy of these very people that is doing it. Any country that has seen serial bombings in several of its major cities (including the capital) and knows who is accountable for them would be up in arms, taking stringent steps to bring to a stop this heinous method of mass terrorism. Instead, our politicians openly support this group that claims responsibility for planting these bombs.

Within minutes of the bombings, the media was flashing how the Prime Minister “bombings ki ninda kar rahe the”. Along side this was an increasing toll of deaths and people injured and images from the site of the terror – people maimed, in shock, covered in blood, roads drenched in blood, footwear strewn all over sometimes with a foot still attached, scenes of people being rushed to hospitals, lying on the gurneys not understanding what was happening. Then there was the media asking the usual round of questions – “how are you feeling? What did you see? What did you do?” In bold red letters the name of the group taking onus of the bombings was being flashed all over.

Across all new channels the same images and the same sounds played in a loop. Reporters were constantly making the link with the current bombings and the cities bombed earlier. They kept reminding us of the cities on the hit-list of this group (which has been kind enough to tell the government this or just too cock-sure of no action being taken regardless of what they do).

And yet, within a few hours of watching the blood bath, making a few phone calls to friends and relatives in Delhi and making sure no new news was coming forth, channels are changed, bombs are forgotten and lives continue like they did.

Bombs changes lives for only those who lose something to them – a foot, a hand, an eye, a parent, child, house. For the others, it’s another topic to discuss around the dinner table. It’s only another topic on which to shake their heads and tsk tsk about. The news of another bombing doesn’t strike fear and terror into the hearts of anyone including the people’s representatives. It doesn’t make anyone stand up and take firm action against this random killing.

All it does is make us ask “which city this time?”

Political Tamasha

BJP MPs allege SP bribed them, show money in LS

Just when you thought politics couldn't get any dirtier or embarassing (or even entertaining for that matter), the people's representatives reach new lows.

A political circus that had its grand finale today has been up-staged by a well strategised stunt that has shaken everyone. The media vultures, political pundits and local populace are all rushing to give their opinion about a definite first in India's colourful political history.

From throwing chairs, benches, microphones, tables and footwear, to hurling abuses and choice names in the Lok Sabha, we thought we'd seen everything that was to be seen in the midst of a gathering of our country's policy and law makers. We even found excuses for their uncouth and boorish behaviour!

But when they start waving bundles of money amounting to an alleged 1 crore, one has to stop and wonder - wonder at how much more they actually have, wonder at where they got the money from, wonder at how brilliantly the politicians of our country are utilising technology and nationwide live converage to their benefit.

Are You For Real?

I just read that President Patil recently made a statement about how education is the most important tool for empowering people and how the youth should ensure a future that is ‘enlightened’ and “create a society free from social evils”.

Is she for real? What society is she living in? The rest of her speech also involved archaic and standard politician material of asking the youth to be "good citizens of the country, conscious of their rights, civic duties and responsibilities". I’m sure I read this in school in my History and Civics textbook more than 10 yrs back.

Oh and there was also the getting rid of evils like child marriage, dowry and female foeticide along with creating awareness about harmful effects of alcolhol, smoking and other intoxicating material.

I’m still trying to close my jaw from the sheer stupidity of this statement. I mean, yes all the above are issues that need to be dealt with. But they have been for the last any number of years. I’m sure the office of the President can come up with something that belongs to today and that doesn’t sound like it has been in circulation since Nehru started talking politics.

And what is with this whole youth thing? Why the pressure? Are the youth expected to dismantle what passes of as advanced human civilization replete with everything we seem to have inherited and increased ten-fold with every passing year and recreate a “society which is free from social evils”? And about ensuring an enlightened future, I can safely say that with an increasing number of students looking beyond boundaries of countries to study and work, the youth are way ahead of you Mrs. Patil.

So as much as one appreciates the attempt, I think someone needs to tell the President (or better yet, her speech writers) that they need to get their heads out of the textbooks belonging to their school days and get real. It’s high time someone did.

King to Commoner

Nepal is now a Republic after more than 2 centuries of monarchy. I honestly don’t understand the politics of it or the economic consequences of this change. What I’m more curious about is how the king is going to make the transition into being just another citizen of Nepal. Of course it isn’t going to help his cause that he isn’t one of the most popular people there right now!

In all the discussion and speculation about what the political scenario is going to be, who the president is going to be, which party will provide the prime minister etc, one forgets to wonder what will happen to the royal family, suddenly stripped of all their, oh well, powers (especially when a lot of those powers are ones that you’ve bestowed upon yourself!). It has to be difficult thinking of yourself as a common citizen when you’ve grown up ruling a country.

I’m sure the king sensed the political unrest in his country. But who expects to be thrown out in a day…I mean he probably expected to be shot or blown up or poisoned or something to that effect. And given his situation right now, it has to be pretty depressing (he probably should be on suicide watch!)

I mean just imagine being monarch of a country one day, and the next day standing in line waiting to buy bread and eggs at the corner around the shop?
One day travelling in a bullet proof car with outriders and security personnel, and the next day trying to flag a cab (and failing).
One day living in a huge palace and the next day, well, looking for a place to live in!

One day King. The next day Commoner.

Games children play (or dont play)

There was a piece in the papers today (one of the several colourful, ad-filled, bollywood news flashing supplements). It mentioned how playing will really not help children with their obesity.
I have a simple question.Will playing help children NOT reach a state of obesity?

In India there is this unfortunate love of plump babies and chubby toddlers. You see a 2 yr old child with cheeks like chipmunks and all the women go cootchy-coo and maternal and oddly scary (what with the cheek pulling – the child’s, not their own- and funny faces that are meant to be amusing!).
Grandparents constantly feel their grandchild is being malnourished and ill-treated and thus give in to any demands made by their precocious (!!) darling (which, at a young age mainly involves eating anything remotely junk and unhealthy and buying anything that will allow them hours in front of the computer/tv).

Which brings me to why I started writing this. Children today do not play anymore. At least they don’t play in the traditional meaning of the word. Their play is more sitting at home in front of the computer with joysticks in your hand type of play. Their play involves weekly outings to the closest mall with a gaming arena.
Obviously play is not going to help with their obesity, except perhaps to be a cause of it!

What will help children avoid obesity (and also control it) is a more traditional form of playing. The kind of playing we participated in when we were children (as much as I don’t like to think about it, I am growing old!!!).

The games we played gave us as good a full body workout as anything – be it Sankhli where we struggled to either get away from a human chain encircling us or remain part of the chain and run behind others, or Lagori that had us running helter skelter after 7 stones of varying sizes and at the same time dodging missiles being thrown by the opposing team. Then there were the all time favourites, Hide and Seek, Langdi (a strenuous exercise!), Hop Scotch (oh the agony of not being able to make ‘houses’!), Lock and Key (a strain indeed on not being able to move), Kho-Kho (oh my what fun), and Dodge ball (oh my what a pain).

Parents fail to see the value of such games. They fail to realise that one hour of playing kho-kho or langdi will help their child (in more ways than one, but that I will leave for another time) much more than one hour on the treadmill.

Today children probably do not even know of these games. What they will know is the address of the closest gym.

Of Bimbos and Sound Bytes

A certain Ms. Carmen Electra recently made statements on how to ‘snare a man’. Apparently keeping a ‘sexiness kit’ does the trick. Quite a relief to know that intelligence and personality has nothing to do with ‘getting a man’. All you require is a kit at work or in the car with the essentials – perfume, lip gloss and a pair of heels to show off your legs – and the knowledge that you look hot!

Our papers pick up this statement and decide to get an opinion about it. Who do they go to? The closest they could get to Carmenesque figures (pun intended) was Rakhi Sawant. That, or they knew talking to her would at least give them an excellent scintillating sound byte. And I must say, the woman never fails to deliver.

She agrees with Ms. Electra and then goes on to add that she would not wear a bra (although she would a panty!). Since her lips are very pouty, eyes are very sexy and face is very glamorous she would enhance them using make up.
But the final clincher here is that Ms. Sawant would make sure she smelt good.
To quote her (and what fun it is do it), “Ladki mein khushboo na ho to mazaa nahi aayega”.

Need I say more?

News or Nonsense (i choose nonsense)

A couple of days back I realised that in all my TV watching, I wasn’t devoting much time to the news channels. I figured should keep updated with current events and latest happenings in and around the world. So with that good intention in mind, I moved from the English movie channels to news channels. I surfed through a couple of them to stop at a reputed channel (at least that’s what I’d heard). What I saw/heard was something that first had me shocked, then in disbelief, and then plain disgust.

The story they were running was titled “Kitne door kitne paas”, and no it wasn’t a political piece on a certain Mr. Singh and Mrs. Gandhi. It was, if it can be believed, a story on the ‘badshah’ and the ‘shehenshah’ (as the dramatic voice on the screen told me). For 10 minutes (probably longer but I wouldn’t know coz I moved to a different channel) the annoyingly melodramatic voice told audiences how Karan Johar’s (!!) birthday part was given a miss by Mr. B while Mr. K attended it yada yada yada. The whole effect was sealed with them playing a clip from a movie with a weepy sonundtrack!! Aarrgghh!!!

So I change channels. There I get the “Aarushi Hatyakand”. Ok. Maybe some new leads since they’re flashing ‘Breaking News’ (I know, misplaced hope), but no. They never fail to deliver. The news this time was the emergence of a former servant and alleged suspect in the murders (which was improbable since he was in Nepal). So basically it was media hog getting the attention of a bored and stupid media who kept flashing ‘Mil gaya Inder’ all over their channel!!

So then I move to another channel, by now hoping for a miracle. And lo behold! I get one. In some mandir in some part of India, there had emerged a water stain in the shape of ‘om’ under the idol of Sai baba. That was the latest breaking news with devotees flocking to see the miracle water stain!!!!!! Is it ok for me to sue the media?

I then gather my courage and move onto another news channel. There I see the words “Saas-bahu ke kanoon badle” and move on. I didn’t even want to know what that was about.

My final attempt bought me closer to news than anything. I was finally beginning to feel relieved when it all came crashing down. Headlines started off with the Gujjar scene in Rajasthan, the Noida double murders, BJP win down South, and then the biggest story: The Bachchan family (mummy, papa, beta, bahu) walking barefoot to Siddhivinayak temple early in the morning to pray for their new movie.

One thing is obvious. The only praying that needs to be done is by the audience.

The Saga of Sex Education

Gang rape, child abuse, molestation, marital rape. None of these make the public bat an eyelash.

Mention a three letter word - SEX - and they all start waving the flag of indian culture and morality!

What is it about this word that makes the adults and ministers (note that they are two different categories and not necessarily the same) squirm in their seats?

An enlightened and thankfully aware official wants to introduce a much needed sex ed program in schools. The next day he succumbs to the morality police, one of whom actually has enough stupid in his head to say (and i paraphrase here) that sex education will plant wrong ideas in the heads of youngsters and crimes against women will increase!!

Objections and arguments against sex ed this time round include the same ones that were spouted a couple of years back too. Children will be encouraged to experiment, they will get wrong ideas in their heads, it will spoil the culture and morals that we Indians are proud of blah blah blah.

What are these people talking about? What do they think sex ed involves? A lecture on the best positions? pick up lines?

They hear the word sex and their brains either go into denial or into overdrive. As adults they forget that they way they think of sex isnt necessarily the only way to think of it. They assume that just because the word 'sex' stimulates certain ideas and thoughts in their heads it will do the same for the young.

Teenagers today are bombarded with sexual stimuli all the time through media. As befits their age they are curious. This curiosity leads to experimentation. Experimentation without the correct information and knowledge is the worst kind.

But where do they get answers? the correct information? Teachers don't have the time or the inclination, parents are too embarassed and forget how they conceived their children, older siblings are too busy getting their own answers.

This leaves friends who are as clueless, furtive flipping of pages of glossy books at big book stores, and the google search engine which offers acess to unlimited porn at the click of a button.

All sex ed is seeking to do is provide answers to questions in a classroom without the children having to google sex and get a warped understanding of a basic biological process. It is seeking to help children understand the changes their bodies are going through. Understanding helps develop respect for their bodies and others' bodies. Sex ed is seeking to help reduce reckless experimentation by offering information that the children want and are unable to get anywhere. It is seking to reduce the incidence of STD's and teenage pregnancy.

Sex education is all about the forwarned being forearmed.

At the end of it all, those who oppose sex education in schools are probably the ones who are most in need of it. So instead of sex education in schools, maybe sex education at the parliament might not be such a bad idea.

The Blame Game

For the last week the papers have been all about Adnan Patrawala, the 16 yr old boy who was kidnapped and murdered. Murdered by some of Adnan's friends ranging in age from 17 to 28 yrs of age.

For a week now, Mumbai has been told and retold the story of Adnan. It is fast becoming one of those tales that grab the interest and emotion of the people in the city. One of those stories that has everyone gripped, that has everyone giving an opinion, that has everyone playing the blame game.
It started with blaming a popular social networking site on which Adnan had met his alleged murderers. Then there was some woman called Angel who was also on this networking site. Then it was the group of friends whom he spent a lot of time with, and who have been arrested on account of murder. Now the police has been blamed for leaking the news of the kidnapping to the media, and the media has been blamed for flashing this news all over the place, which apparently caused the kidnappers to panic and strangle Adnan.

In all of this, i have only one query.
What is the role of the parents in this whole tragedy?
From the regular reports in the newspaper, (a) it seems that a 16 year old Adnan had use of a very expensive car, (b) that he was allowed to stay out late at night and (c) that his parents had no idea of what people he met online.
As someone who has studied developmental psychology, the above 3 don't seem right to me.

A 16 yr old does not have the skills to handle the sort of independence that is given now a days. They still require supervision. They still need guidance. They still need limits. Adnan had the sort of freedom that can get dangerous for a young teenager. He had access to big cars, big money and no limits. He was easy target. His parents never questioned him staying out post midnight. His parents never questioned who his friends were and how he knew them. His friends had counted on that. They took a chance. Unfortunately for them and for Adnan, they succeeded.

I'm not insensitive to the loss of the Patrawala family. My condolences are with them.
But i hope this incident is an eye opener for those parents who allow their children whatever they want. It is all right to trust your children. But how do u trust others?
The only one to trust is yourself. The blame game never gets anyone anywhere.