Curtains, Clothes, Grass and Guests

These last ten days have been quite busy and between family functions, falling ill and sorting out the household help, I’m going a leetle nuts.

My last update here was whilst I was recovering from a virus attack. Now it’s whilst I go into denial about all the work I need to get done, before friends arrive. Usually I wouldn’t be overly worried. I mean, these are old friends. They already know how messy my room usually is. Unfortunately right after the friends leave, the in-laws arrive. And so everything has to be presentable, and this means curtains (to begin with). It also means bed sheets and pillow cases on the spare bed (instead of piles of washed clothes waiting to be ironed). It could also mean a married people’s kitchen (with veggies and fruits and juice and spices and grown up stuff). However, since we (my friends and i) hardly qualify as grown up, its going to be junk food all the way.

This poses a problem you see, since I’ll have just one day, between the friends and the parents, to grow up, bring vegetables into the house again and clean up all the cola/maaza/beer/vodka bottles.

Then there is the garden. I’m a city girl, so my idea of a front lawn is velvety grass, gorgeous colours and landscaping. What I have instead, is a garden, half of which is green (the other half has no grass on it so its brown). There is also a tree bang in the middle of the yard, bamboo fencing which is in constant threat from the blue bulls around and ugly rose bushes which have only leaves and thorns. Oh, and there is also a gardener whom I’m going to have to yell at (again) tomorrow for work not done (again).

Why does this stress me out? Because the mother-in-law is an expert garden-person. She even knows the names of all the flowers and can make them grow to be the size of footballs. And when she comes visiting, she’ll have to be told that the brown half of the garden is a cricket pitch while the green is to play golf on.

Just One More

(Day 111 of 112)

I’m on my last stop before I head the Fellow’s way. Unfortunately, getting here meant taking a train at the supremely inhuman hour of 5.50am. Essentially this means, that I didn’t sleep all night (since I don’t trust myself to wake up before the birds do) and kept waiting for the alarm to ring, and the TV to show something interesting.

Of course, I did try sleeping in the train. But the really fat aunty in the seat in front of me kept switching the fan on and off, depending on her body temperature. And so I kept shivering and cursing all through the 6 hours I had the misfortune of being stuck behind a thermostatically challenged woman! Then when I got to the uncle’s house (my transit point for this leg of the journey) I decided on a nice, refreshing nap. Unfortunately, it only needed my declaration for the power company to run an unscheduled power cut for 3 hours. Hmph.

So here I am, at 11 in the night, yearning for a comfortable bed and a good night’s sleep. And all I can think of is how when I wake up tomorrow morning, it’ll be the last day I’ll be without the Fellow.

Just one more day. *stupid grin*

N-A-P Time

(Day 88 of 112)

As a rule I avoid napping in the afternoon. No it’s not because I won’t be able to sleep at night and all that jazz. It’s just that my body doesn’t have the concept of napping. I mean the idea of sleeping for half an hour or even an hour is so totally alien that it’s unthinkable and sacrilege almost.

And so my naps are a minimum of 2 hours (and can extend into several more as demonstrated today). As a result I avoid sleeping in the afternoons because then it’s just like getting up for dinner and going back to bed, not to mention the names I get called by everyone around me!

But then there are days like today when the sleep is so overpowering that you can’t escape it. Add to that the MIL saying “beta sleep for sometime, you’ll feel refreshed” and I’m doomed. And so against all instincts (except for the sleep), I took a ‘nap’ today. Needless to say I was knocked out for a good 4 hours. Apparently the MIL came to check on me a couple of times (probably to see if I was still alive). But I was (or so she says) so cosy and curled up in the blankets that she didn’t have the heart to wake me up (and when she did try, I didn’t even twitch an eyelash).

When I did finally wake up, the stars were out and dinner was bubbling on the stove. A very guilty me walked out to find the MIL waiting with a huge smile and a snack for me (I know I know. I am being pampered). I tried explaining the whole body not in sync with naps logic to her, but she just waved it off saying that if anyone understands the need to sleep like the dead it’s her. And, well, she’s right. Her naps do resemble mine, except that the FIL wakes her up regardless of how comfy she looks!

Thank god the Fellow doesn’t get that from his dad or we would have had some serious issues I tell you!

2 Naps, a Movie and a Book

(Day 76 of 112)

The title of this post basically summarises my day today. It’s some vacation I’m having here I tell you. I mean one would imagine that since I’m at the in-laws’ home, I’d be playing the role of the dutiful daughter-in-law and dazzling the new family with my brilliant cooking skills and social graces.

Alas. It’s not so. Not that I suck at cooking or in company. It’s just that the MIL enjoys being in the kitchen more than I do (and she does everything so much faster). Additionally I’d rather bond with the laptop and practice my social graces on Facebook as opposed to smiling like a slightly crazed chica for half an hour while some aunty or uncle makes mundane aunty-uncle talk, all the time thinking “damn my feet are cold.”

So since I’m not cooking and/or smiling for strangers, I have to keep busy. To start with there are the naps. Since it’s pretty cool (cold for me), naps are made extra fun under a warm, heavy quilt. Bliss. Then there is the DVD collection the FIL has built up, comprising mainly of old Hindi classics. I’m actually enjoying catching up on some brilliant film making belonging to a time before glossy and shiny was in. And then there is always some book I’m reading. There is undeniably relaxing and irresistible in a good book, a table lamp and a comfy blanket.

And so between naps, a movie and a book, only the Fellow is needed to make it a perfect holiday.

One Topic and Lots of Ink

(Day 72 of 112)

All day today I was carrying the terribly heavy burden of guilt and honestly, I’m quite fed up. Who knew the conscience can be such a pain. I mean, so I have deadlines. Big deal right? It’s not like I wasn’t thinking about the work I have to do. I was. All the time (it was like being physically sprawled in front of the TV but mentally someplace else). I even opened up a new Word Doc and the page listing my assignment. I read it once and then read it again. And then in order to allow my mind time to assimilate the information, I stopped reading it and occupied myself in other things. And though some may call it procrastination I prefer to call it a method, a process that I have.

Anyhoo, after about a couple of hours of the method, I made some progress. I zeroed in on the topic of my assignment. This was half the battle won because now I knew what the content would be.My mind at ease, I decided I deserved a break. And so I picked up a pen and some paper, switched the TV channel to something brainless and got doodling.

4 hours later, the Word Doc still showed only the topic and the sheet of paper quite a lot of ink.

Now if only I could channel this productivity to where it’s really needed I could die happy. Or at least sleep guilt free. Sigh.

Of Colds and Creativity

(August 14th, Day 64 of 112)

I would have put this up last night but I was too busy sniffling, shivering, sneezing and singing.

The first three are the by-products of a full blown cold, the kind that makes me sneeze like I’m in some kind of sneeze- marathon and then makes me want to curse whoever thought of a nose to start with. It is also the kind that made my brother-in-law ask me (in the middle of a crowded Mall store and much tothe shock of several people standing nearby) whether I’d come from Pune. Evil I tell you. I was almost quarantined!

The singing was for the MIL on her birthday. Of course I sounded like an out-of-tune violin or a frog stuck in a well (whatever suits your taste). But who cares right? It’s the sentiments that count. Also I was armed with a gift so the terrible singing was well compensated.

This is what I gave the MIL for her birthday. Since I couldn’t figure out what to buy for her, I decided to fall back on some latent talent, most often suppressed under laziness and my laptop. This was the final result and happily for me, Ma loved it.

The Fellow of course takes full credit for the frame. His argument being that if he hadn’t married me, Ma would never have gotten the gift.

City Meets The Mall

(Day 62 of 112)

The word most commonly associated with Shimla (apart from holiday) is the Mall Road. While tourists make it a point to be found on the Mall at some time (or every day) during they stay here, I was surprised that a lot of the locals also go to the Mall every evening. As far as I understand, it’s almost a ritual.

Yesterday I was part of this ritual when I accompanied the in-laws to the Mall. The first thing that struck me was how everyone there (and there were many) was comfortable with walking. Having been witness to women and even young girls who insist their chauffer driven cars drop and pick them up right from the doorstep of whatever shop they want to go to, seeing women and men of all ages comply willingly with the no automobiles rule was…well…confusing!

I mean, I’m a city girl and can’t imagine considering a parking spot, a ten minute uphill walk away from the destination, a very good one. Maybe if I was a tourist, and there was the whole novelty factor involved, I would have enjoyed that uphill trek and even recommended it to everyone I knew in that annoyingly excited manner tourists have. But not if I have to do it everyday for several weeks! I mean by the time I got to the Mall I wanted to go back and rest with my feet in a salt water bath. Ok. That’s an example of gross exaggeration. But you get the idea right?

To add to it all, as if the cardio workout wasn’t stressful enough for my body, there was all the fresh, crisp mountain air, free of car pollutants and other poisons. My lungs almost went into shock I tell you!

And so for the next few days (at least), and at the cost of being an undutiful daughter-in-law, I’m going to work in the evenings, use the cold as an excuse (and sniffle a bit), maybe even offer to make dinner (we have a cook so it’s not like I’m being a bad bahu or anything). Because if I don’t, I know all the greenery, the unpolluted air, the people all smiling and greeting each other at every step and all the walking will traumatise my fat little city soul!

Ps: For all my body feeling like it was going to collapse, I have no stiffness and/or soreness today. I’m physically fit. Yay!

Clothes Maketh the Size

For the last decade or so, I have been the unwilling target of several subtle (and even more not so subtle) hints and nudges to come down a size or two (or even three). I trained myself to ignore the above and continued existing happily. That is, till I realised that the Indian clothes market was being taken over by the sizes that didn’t allow you the luxury of that extra bulge and that special curve! In sheer desperation I had to drop a few kilos simply to be able to pick up clothes that would fit me (and not make me look like someone I would comment on)!

Then recently I visited the US of A. A place that made me (mostly) feel healthy and normal sized. I will always have special memories of shopping there and having to look for smaller sizes!! The clothes there seemed to understand the need to hide certain unflattering contours and enhance certain lines. They also seemed to get that being big doesn’t make you unworthy of style and shape. And I have to confess, I took a certain gleeful pride in rummaging through the piles of clothes and discarding everything with an L and more (XL, XXL, XXXL etc).

Anywho, my point here was that I can never take such sadistic pride here in India. The clothes available (or unavailable) do not allow me that luxury. And grudgingly I am glad about that because laziness, good food (read: carb loaded, fat soaked, sugar spiked) and availability of clothes matching your ever expanding size are a lethal combination. One of the many reasons I am glad I don’t live in the US. But then again, that is another story.

Sunday Mornings

Found this in a long forgotten folder in my computer (apparently my computer is as cluttered as my wardrobe and table. Sigh).

Turning and twisting
And lying and sprawling
Wondering what to do next
“Get out of bed” you
Maybe might think
But you ask your
Conscience to give it a rest!

“It’s Sunday morning
And not even noon
The sun aint properly up yet
Getting out of bed
Isn’t the done thing
For Sunday it’s just too soon!

“Too soon” your annoying
Conscience retorts
“You’re just staring at the
Ceiling over you”
“Not staring but thinking”
You reply
“For a Sunday morning
That’s exercise too!”

“Bah!” says your still
Annoying conscience to you
“Another waste of half a day
People have been up and
About with the sun
What have you done with your hay?”

“All right mister (or miss)
That’s enough said already
You’re doing the sowing
But I’ll have to reap”
Saying thus you close your
Tired little eyes
And go back to a conscience free sleep!!

-Avantika (29.09.06)

The Art of Nothing

I propose to anybody interested (or bored enough to be reading this) the Art of Nothing.

This is not in direct relation to the Art of Living (as may be thought of by the name), but is related to being around people who always have to be doing something!! It started me wondering on how being able to sit, doing nothing productive, and not feel guilty about it is an art...one that needs to be cultivated or atleast honed to some degree of perfection.
How many people do you know who can do this with ease?? A lot of people i know can. But a lot many more start itching if they're not doing something with their hands (and u perverts out there can stop smirking)! They need to be constantly picking up and rearranging things, straightening chairs and playing a wierd sort of musical flower vases around the house. They create work for themselves when the obvious is all done.
For someone like me, who has mastered the art of vegetating that is sacrilege. Its the refusal to allow yourself the time and leisure of doing nothing. It doesnt allow your brain to just let out all its air and uhmmm....deflate?? (I know this sounds potentially life threatening...but im sure people who are well versed in the AoN will be able to picture this process!!)
Basically what i'm trying to put across here is that Im happy not doing anything. When i answer "nothing" to the regularly aked "what are you doing?", i mean it literally. I dont mean it as a plea for u to tell me a hundred things that i could be doing. Nothing means that I am actually doing nothing. And enjoying every bit of it. So sue me.

Glass Toda Char Anna!

Since my last post i have been involved in events such that have me convinced that the universe is listening (and plotting), or that i have plain and simple bad luck(or good luck as may be the perspective)!
But im getting too far ahead. I'll start from the start.
Today happens to be the 12th day of a 21 day sentence as pronounced by my orthopedician on account of my slightly over-zealous efforts at the gym resulting in a damaged knee ligament.
Yes it is as bad as it sounds ;-p
So, to cut a long story short, im forbidden to walk, bend, or in any way strain my right knee and thus im occupying my time by either lying flat on my bed in the room, or in the living room in front of the TV. And if my folks had bought me that tv for my room which ive always wanted, i would have been flat on my bed in my room all the time.
And no. It isnt as much fun as it sounds.
Im fast realising...actually i awakened to this realisation within 2 hours of my forced house arrest, that resting and being waited on hand and foot isnt as great as it is made out to be. I think those are rumours started by people in similar conditions merely to ensure that others get tempted and get to experience the suffering!!! For suffering it is. Pure, unadulterated suffering. In fact im sure that ive sprouted a few roots and am fast going to start spreading (pun intended)
Which brings me to my primary woe (yes, the above ranting wasnt it) It is ironical that most injuries at the gym result in the victim being assigned to the bed for varied periods of time ranging from anywhere from one week to several months, during which time, the poor unfortunate soul (yes, those familiar with the soundtrack of The Little Mermaid may find this phrase familiar) manages to pile on all the few pounds that had been shed!
And that is something that is bothering me more than my knee. I mean c'mon, you drag yourself (finally) to the gym. Will yourself to get onto those machines that look like they have been designed specfially to enhance human suffering. After getting on you psyche yourself into actually moving on it - step by step by step until you actually look like you're working up a sweat and doing justice to the new gym gear you just splurged on. And then what? Your knee decides that it has had enough and that it could do with a 21 day vacation! Ah bah!

Khaya piya kuch nahi, glass toda char anna!